Happy Monday Family!
I just wanted to pass on an article about Muslim families and my school (Cornerstone). It's very controversial right now. Cornerstone used to be a private Christian school which is why a lot of Muslim families think it is still Christian, even though now we are a public charter school and not teaching the bible. MCS is sort of taking advantage of that assumption and courting Muslim families to Douglas, even though a lot of the refugees would rather have their kids go to school in their own neighborhood. We also have an amazing ESL teacher and program, and it would be so sad to have the neighborhood kids not benefit from that. Anyway, read the article if you like it's pretty interesting.
http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2012/jul/30/two-public-school-systems-in-memphis-court/
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
tell me I need a puppy...
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Hello from school.
Hi Everyone!
Daddy, won't you please write a book? Maybe a memoir of this summer! I would buy it. Although I'm sure that people would think that you were writing fiction, because some of this stuff just seems too made up. Your editor would probably say something like, "Pete, I'm just not sure that it's believable that 40,000 would gather to listen to bad music in heat like that. No one will buy such fantasy!"
I'm 4 days into my Professional Development (PD) at Cornerstone Prep. It has not been as scary as I thought it would be, it's actually been pretty great. It's a nice feeling to wake up in the morning and look forward to going to work. Of course, I'd love to be sleeping in a few extra hours and having a leisurely time exploring Memphis (like my roommate Shannon is doing), but if I have to be going to work I'm glad that it's here. Shannon has actually been really, really helpful as far as getting the apartment all set up, our electric and water turned on, our accent wall painted, etc because I haven't been around to help with any of it.
I'm very proud because I can now get to and from work without using a GPS. I also have 3 radio stations programmed into my car, and I've grocery shopped at Kroger and I now have a bank account with First Tennessee and I've shared a hee-hee and a ha-ha with my boss (who is significantly less intimidating while wearing cargo-shorts). So all in all I'm nearly a Memphian.
PD consists of a LOT of meetings, practice teaching, and community outreach, as well as setting up classrooms.
The most frustrating part is that the pre-K team is 4 teachers (2 classrooms) and they want our classrooms to be exactly the same, so the 4 of us have to decide everything together. Of course, what I think is the perfect behavior chart, Josh disagrees with, and what Dana thinks is the right way to line up, Sarah disagrees with, and it turns into hours of passive-aggressive, people trying not to hurt each other's feelings, discussions that sound like, "I'm just going to push-back against what you said because I really feel that while your idea is great, it doesn't take into consideration the fact that some students will be at science center while the others are at writing center, and it sounds to me like you're saying that all students should enter from the left side of the classroom, but I was getting the sense that the writing center and the science center are on opposite sides of the room, so I just want to pause and reflect about how we're going to make a positive change. In my opinion." And I'm just sitting there thinking "let it go, Cailin, let it go," because I'm ready to burst. There is so much talking going on alllll the time and we're just not efficient with our words. Do not explain to me again the purpose of small group work. I understand small group work. I have been doing small group work for the past 5 weeks with actual students and all I wanted to know is if small group work will happen before or after lunch. I do not care at this moment what the academic benefits of working in small groups is. GAHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHHFDAKDLJALKDFJALKDJFALKDJFALKSDJFA ODOFAO!!!
But I really like my co-teacher, he just sits there quietly and then sends out an email with his thoughts on all of it because he can't deal with people talking over each other. We will work pretty well together. Except it always takes him about an hour to work up the courage to disagree with me. I'll say something like "I kind of like the idea of having 4 kids working in the math center at a time." and an hour later he'll be like, "Cailin, I kind of think there should only be 3 kids there at a time." And I have to assure him that that's fine, it doesn't break my heart to take one kid out of the math center.
So it's just a lot, a lot of planning because, especially at this age, every single step has to be planned out. How are they going to line up to go to the bathroom? How will you get their attention when they are working in groups? What will the students that finish their work early do? What will the signal be to ask for a tissue?
My brain always feels pretty fried by the time I get home. Usually when I'm home I go work-out at the gym across the street then make dinner (Daddy, I'm cooking!!) and then iron my clothes and go to bed. What a thrill! Most of my friends are gone for the week because they don't start until next Monday or later, so I've had a lot of time alone. Maybe when they all get back I'll start doing more exciting things, although I'm so tired that by 9 I am ready to turn in for the night.
I'm still hoping you all will show up on my doorstep sometime soon!
love you so much!
Daddy, won't you please write a book? Maybe a memoir of this summer! I would buy it. Although I'm sure that people would think that you were writing fiction, because some of this stuff just seems too made up. Your editor would probably say something like, "Pete, I'm just not sure that it's believable that 40,000 would gather to listen to bad music in heat like that. No one will buy such fantasy!"
I'm 4 days into my Professional Development (PD) at Cornerstone Prep. It has not been as scary as I thought it would be, it's actually been pretty great. It's a nice feeling to wake up in the morning and look forward to going to work. Of course, I'd love to be sleeping in a few extra hours and having a leisurely time exploring Memphis (like my roommate Shannon is doing), but if I have to be going to work I'm glad that it's here. Shannon has actually been really, really helpful as far as getting the apartment all set up, our electric and water turned on, our accent wall painted, etc because I haven't been around to help with any of it.
I'm very proud because I can now get to and from work without using a GPS. I also have 3 radio stations programmed into my car, and I've grocery shopped at Kroger and I now have a bank account with First Tennessee and I've shared a hee-hee and a ha-ha with my boss (who is significantly less intimidating while wearing cargo-shorts). So all in all I'm nearly a Memphian.
PD consists of a LOT of meetings, practice teaching, and community outreach, as well as setting up classrooms.
The most frustrating part is that the pre-K team is 4 teachers (2 classrooms) and they want our classrooms to be exactly the same, so the 4 of us have to decide everything together. Of course, what I think is the perfect behavior chart, Josh disagrees with, and what Dana thinks is the right way to line up, Sarah disagrees with, and it turns into hours of passive-aggressive, people trying not to hurt each other's feelings, discussions that sound like, "I'm just going to push-back against what you said because I really feel that while your idea is great, it doesn't take into consideration the fact that some students will be at science center while the others are at writing center, and it sounds to me like you're saying that all students should enter from the left side of the classroom, but I was getting the sense that the writing center and the science center are on opposite sides of the room, so I just want to pause and reflect about how we're going to make a positive change. In my opinion." And I'm just sitting there thinking "let it go, Cailin, let it go," because I'm ready to burst. There is so much talking going on alllll the time and we're just not efficient with our words. Do not explain to me again the purpose of small group work. I understand small group work. I have been doing small group work for the past 5 weeks with actual students and all I wanted to know is if small group work will happen before or after lunch. I do not care at this moment what the academic benefits of working in small groups is. GAHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHHFDAKDLJALKDFJALKDJFALKDJFALKSDJFA ODOFAO!!!
But I really like my co-teacher, he just sits there quietly and then sends out an email with his thoughts on all of it because he can't deal with people talking over each other. We will work pretty well together. Except it always takes him about an hour to work up the courage to disagree with me. I'll say something like "I kind of like the idea of having 4 kids working in the math center at a time." and an hour later he'll be like, "Cailin, I kind of think there should only be 3 kids there at a time." And I have to assure him that that's fine, it doesn't break my heart to take one kid out of the math center.
So it's just a lot, a lot of planning because, especially at this age, every single step has to be planned out. How are they going to line up to go to the bathroom? How will you get their attention when they are working in groups? What will the students that finish their work early do? What will the signal be to ask for a tissue?
My brain always feels pretty fried by the time I get home. Usually when I'm home I go work-out at the gym across the street then make dinner (Daddy, I'm cooking!!) and then iron my clothes and go to bed. What a thrill! Most of my friends are gone for the week because they don't start until next Monday or later, so I've had a lot of time alone. Maybe when they all get back I'll start doing more exciting things, although I'm so tired that by 9 I am ready to turn in for the night.
I'm still hoping you all will show up on my doorstep sometime soon!
love you so much!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Nothing The Size Of A Quarter Fell On Our Heads At Camp Bisco But...
There’s a haze that covers the festival grounds. But this haze doesn’t settle from the sky above but rises from the ground. Stirred by the feet of 40,000 wandering, shuffling souls. Dirt so fine a golf cart rolling at 2 mph can throw up a Pigpen cloud of dust that lays in your lungs, drifts upward and disappears like water vapor absorbed only to return to earth piggybacking on raindrops that turn to mud before they even hit the ground. Some new form of precipitation coming soon to a weatherman near you.
“Clean me” fingerpainted on the windshield of a ’98 Subaru with a note underneath “Why bother?”.
And heat. Mississippi Delta heat. The Ginzu knife couldn’t slice this air I’m trying to breathe heat. The only relief comes in the form of a wimp of a breeze not big enough to be shared by more than 4 or 5 people at a time. Teasing then moving along. Leaving in its wake heat and sweat so thick tattoos are running like an Al Stewart watercolor. White girls with skin perfectly-boiled Maine lobster red and perfectly-roasted Peking duck crispy.
Like a student who although unassigned always returns to the same classroom seat, I continue to use the same port-a-potty (second on the left, third row from the gyro stand). It’s the one with the Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer can bobbing for dear life in a sea of yuck. As the festival-goers empty bladders the beer can makes its’ way to the surface only to fall each morning when the port-a potties get cleaned. Veterans know the best time to go to the bathroom is right after the septic pumpers have been to town. Toilet paper and clean seats last about as long as a hot dog sits in front of Grandpa Jim.
The people watching is as fascinating as ever and I overcook more than one order of French fries. Do you want ketchup with your neon purple fur-lined boots? Security tries valiantly to hold back swarms of desperate to get to the next show young’uns. Bred somewhere between Barney Fife and an over-zealous campus security weekend extra they feel a need to protect people from errant golf carts making their way to the stage with very important cargo. “You’ll cross this road when I say you’ll cross it. Thanks for understanding.” The septic pumpers seem to get the right of way and I’m ok with that rule.
Best tee shirt so far? A tie between a guy with a really big head wearing a shirt with his own face on it and “You’re grammar suck’s”. Hey I think Jesus is buying a burrito. Jesus or Frank Zappa. Then I realize those 2 are dead and it’s probably a guy named Jack who works during the week at the co-op selling beans in bulk.
Most of the people are very nice and it is fun to talk with folks and find out a little about anyone willing to share. The genuine ones make our day as vendors a little more bearable. Here are some folks I got a chance to talk with for awhile. I told them I was going to post their picture so “Hi guys!”
My Best Customers So Far...
It’s interesting and everyone knows the odds of never seeing these people again are pretty good but it is fun to get to know people this way. Sort of like speed-dating without any consequences.
The music for the most part is god-awful. We used to get the same sound when we failed to properly connect our stereo speakers. I sincerely believe if you can play one really low bass note over and over and over and over again you can be a band. Actually you only have to play the note once and then sit back and let your computer take over. This can’t be what our parents heard when Elvis and Chubby sent them scurrying to their bomb shelters. That was music. With lyrics that dripped with meaning. Sha bittly boo wah wah wah!
So we drag home to hot showers, sharp razors and screened windows with fans in them. And get laundry done. Hopefully in time to leave for Gathering of the Vibes this weekend. Where I believe me and the music will get along much better. Love you all. Peace. Daddy/Peter
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
1 week left!
First, welcome home Connor! Glad you're back in the USA (best country in the world). Expect a call from me soon!
I just have 1 more week left in the Delta. I never thought I'd say it, but I will be sad to go. Mostly I'm going to miss my Mississippi babies, but I've had some great times with the people here and discovered some of the Delta's hidden gems. I guess I can always come back!
My girls wanted to give me braids. Here they are hard at work on my hair.
Wow! What a great job!
Here they are very pleased with their handiwork. Thanks, girlie girls!
I just have 1 more week left in the Delta. I never thought I'd say it, but I will be sad to go. Mostly I'm going to miss my Mississippi babies, but I've had some great times with the people here and discovered some of the Delta's hidden gems. I guess I can always come back!
My girls wanted to give me braids. Here they are hard at work on my hair.
Here they are very pleased with their handiwork. Thanks, girlie girls!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Only 4 days until I'm back in the US!
Can't wait to see everyone.
Things are going very well here. Work is still very slow. I have a final evaluation before my last day on Thursday, and I'm a bit nervous, because I haven't done much and can't imagine what they're going to have to say. "Well Mr. Ross, Dutch might not have been your strongest asset, but you sure can wear the hell out of a striped tie". Yeah, probably that. But at the very least, I'm being very proactive and asking everyone if I can help them, so I've covered all my bases and suppose I have nothing to worry about.
We went to Paris for the weekend. It was the most incredible city I've ever been to. Just as big and metropolitan as New York, but instead of filthy and ugly and faceless, it has charm, elegance, and the most beautiful architecture you can imagine. (No offense Ken, Lauren, Grady, and Marley.)
We got there at 11 on Friday night and drove to a hotel in the middle of the city that Felix's dad (Sven) really wanted us to see, but when we got there we found out there was a big fashion show that weekend, and without a reservation, bonne chance of finding rooms. We spent the next two hours driving around, getting farther from the heart of the city and into seedier hotels. Sven was not pleased ("I haven't worked hard the last 30 years to sleep in some youth hostel") but we eventually found something and it was fine. Dinner at 1 am (how European), drinks at a cafe on the Seine until 4, and then into bed for some much needed rest.
We woke up early on Saturday and saw the sights: Eiffel tower, Napoleon's grave, Notre Dame, various other buildings and parks I had never heard of, etc. The Eiffel tower, Notre Dame, and the Louvre (which we saw on Sunday) have 2-3 hour waits so we didn't go in, but just being there was impressive enough. And just wandering around the city is awesome enough, every street has a story, and Sven lived in Paris for 2 years, so he made an excellent tour guide. Every couple of hours we would stop and get coffee and food. We went to the best book store I've ever been to, an English one called the Shakespeare. The downstairs is very small and old and packed with people and books lying everywhere (think Harry Potter) and upstairs is a library with couches and big chairs for people to relax and read. After that we went across the street to a cafe where we got dinner as the sun set over the Notre Dame. Very pituresque.
We drove home late Sunday, and after three nights in a row of staying up until 6 am, I was very exhausted and went right to bed. It is taking my body some time to recover and I've been extremely tired for my first two days of work this week.
Back to work, see you in a few days!
Can't wait to see everyone.
Things are going very well here. Work is still very slow. I have a final evaluation before my last day on Thursday, and I'm a bit nervous, because I haven't done much and can't imagine what they're going to have to say. "Well Mr. Ross, Dutch might not have been your strongest asset, but you sure can wear the hell out of a striped tie". Yeah, probably that. But at the very least, I'm being very proactive and asking everyone if I can help them, so I've covered all my bases and suppose I have nothing to worry about.
We went to Paris for the weekend. It was the most incredible city I've ever been to. Just as big and metropolitan as New York, but instead of filthy and ugly and faceless, it has charm, elegance, and the most beautiful architecture you can imagine. (No offense Ken, Lauren, Grady, and Marley.)
We got there at 11 on Friday night and drove to a hotel in the middle of the city that Felix's dad (Sven) really wanted us to see, but when we got there we found out there was a big fashion show that weekend, and without a reservation, bonne chance of finding rooms. We spent the next two hours driving around, getting farther from the heart of the city and into seedier hotels. Sven was not pleased ("I haven't worked hard the last 30 years to sleep in some youth hostel") but we eventually found something and it was fine. Dinner at 1 am (how European), drinks at a cafe on the Seine until 4, and then into bed for some much needed rest.
We woke up early on Saturday and saw the sights: Eiffel tower, Napoleon's grave, Notre Dame, various other buildings and parks I had never heard of, etc. The Eiffel tower, Notre Dame, and the Louvre (which we saw on Sunday) have 2-3 hour waits so we didn't go in, but just being there was impressive enough. And just wandering around the city is awesome enough, every street has a story, and Sven lived in Paris for 2 years, so he made an excellent tour guide. Every couple of hours we would stop and get coffee and food. We went to the best book store I've ever been to, an English one called the Shakespeare. The downstairs is very small and old and packed with people and books lying everywhere (think Harry Potter) and upstairs is a library with couches and big chairs for people to relax and read. After that we went across the street to a cafe where we got dinner as the sun set over the Notre Dame. Very pituresque.
We drove home late Sunday, and after three nights in a row of staying up until 6 am, I was very exhausted and went right to bed. It is taking my body some time to recover and I've been extremely tired for my first two days of work this week.
Back to work, see you in a few days!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
updates from the Delta
Hi Family!
We're entering the home stretch here in Mississippi! Thank God! Just two more weeks until I get to move back to Memphis. I went back to Memphis for the day yesterday, and it was a great feeling to be driving into the city and feeling so happy to be back, even if only for a few hours. I was there with Shannon, my roommate, and Brittany, one of the girls who is living on the same hall as us. We did a lot of shopping for teacher clothes, went to brunch at the Blue Plate Cafe, and walked around our neighborhood. I hadn't realized how close I was to so much cool stuff! I am about a quarter mile from the Lorraine Motel, the site of Martin Luther King's assassination and home to the National Civil Rights Museum. Also on my street is the Orpheum Theater, an off-Broadway theater and cinema. Their summer movie series is on right now. Luckily I will be back in town for the showings of The Princess Bride and Blazing Saddles. Also a short walk away is the FedEx Forum (where we're going to see Sugarland play on Aug. 24th!), and tons of BBQ restaurants. A short walk to the west is the Mississippi River and lots of parks and walking trails. Here's what the view looks like.
There were a couple of River Boats chugging along as we walked.
It was great to be away from here for awhile and a little hard to drive back to the Delta.
But, last night we drove to Ground Zero, a blues club about 45 min from Delta State. It's a club owned by Morgan Freeman, who periodically pops in and dances. Yes, I've danced on the same floor as Morgan Freeman. He was there just 3 weeks ago! It's such a fun place! Very Mississippi. There is writing all over the walls where people signed their names. Here's my name:
It's famous but not at all fancy. Plastic table cloths are on the tables, they serve the greasiest food (shocker) and lots of beer and there were a ton of locals all out for dancing. And obviously it's all live blues, all night. Every musician except the singer had a lit cigarette hanging out of their mouths the whole time they performed.
My friend Gracie and I stayed basically until closing so we had the dance floor to ourselves. We met Abraham, a man who has been working there for 11 years (he's met Morgan Freeman tons of times and got our phone numbers so he can call us next time he pops in...) He's probably 60 years old and drives the "limo" for the club. The limo looks like it's from 1973. A big band is coming on July 3rd and he's offered to pick 10 of us up in Cleveland in his limo. No charge. Only tip the driver. hmm...an adventure maybe? Gracie and I are trying to find 8 more brave enough to come along for a night of blues and dancing in honor of America.
This week was a really hard one at school, but a really rewarding one. Going into the third week was difficult because it still felt like we had so many more days left here, our kids still hadn't quite warmed up to us, we were exhausted, behavior management in our classroom is much, much harder than we thought it would be, and we're all homesick. The racism and poverty down here is also emotionally exhausting. We see how deeply ingrained racism is down here, and it's very discouraging. Back in Vermont, it feels like racism is so foolish and ignorant and that we all just need to talk it out and get along. But down here it's a deep, deep hatred and mistrust and always on the surface. For the first time down here I'm noticed for being white, and I feel what it feels like to be stigmatized and marginalized because of the color of my skin. I had one little boy come up to be and say, "Ms. Ross, my mama says I'm scared of white people, but I'm not scared of you at all." In a classroom down the hall, one girl was teaching her lesson and a little boy raised his hand.
"Ms., are you white?"
"Yes, I am."
"How did you get to be white?"
"I was born this way."
"I wish I was born white."
It's disgusting and sad that at 4 years old a little boy already feels that there is something wrong with him because of his color, feels that life would be better as a white person.
In another instance, one of my teaching partners was on the phone with a little girl's mom. The girl has been misbehaving a lot, and we've all made calls home about what we can do about it. The teacher who made the call happens to be African American. The mother, also black, goes, "Hold up. Are you black?" and my co-teacher says, "Yes Ma'am, I am."
"Well it's about time that my daughter has a black teacher."
My co-teacher was greatly offended, not only that she was labeled because of the sound of her voice, but also that something like this would matter. It was really upsetting, and it's a terrible feeling to feel guilty about your skin color. I kept thinking, I wish I was black, too, so that her mother trusted me. The whole thing is so ignorant, but so real for many people. It's been really difficult dealing with these emotions and thoughts that I've never had to deal with before.
However, on a more hopeful and happy note, my lessons and behavior management have become a million times better since the beginning of the week. All of us are kind of finding our teaching styles, which makes teaching much more natural and fun. It's so much fun and so delightful when you do it right and when the kids really get it. The babies also trust us now and love us, so coming to class is the best because they just want to tell you the best stories and give lots of hugs and show you how very smart they are.
On Friday it was College Day. All the teachers wore T-Shirts that said their college name on it, and we talked with the kids about what it means to go to college and how important it is to go to school. I brought in my mortar board for them to try on ("Ms. Ross, I like your silly hat!"). They were adorable. Here are a few of my students, all ready for college graduation! Class of 2029!
As soon as Calvin learns his colors he'll be ready for Harvard. This little boy struggles a lot. He get's so frustrated and it breaks my heart. I worked alone with him on Friday with colors and numbers. I showed him how to make a 3. "See Calvin, you make curly-Q's!"
"I wanna try makin dose curly-coos!"
He did manage to draw a 3, but at the end of the lesson I asked what number it was..."Umm, six."
David is the sweetest little boy in the world. He has no teeth between his canines. He has a major speech impediment and would like to be a baseball player when he grows up.
Delvin can't sit still for more than 3 seconds at a time. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up he responded, "The line leader." Shoot for the stars, buddy!
DeMarion, one of the twins. So smart, but will not open his mouth to speak. He gets so mad at me for making him follow the rules.
DeShaun in the other twin. He's such a clown and the biggest pain in the neck. I'll tell him to say "yes Ma'am" and he looks me straight in the eye and goes "Yes Sir." But this kid is brilliant. When I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he said "84 years old." what a little smart ass.
Diamonique is teacher's pet (or at least tries to be). A big ol' tattle-tale.
"Ms. Ross, he cutted me in line!"
"Hey Diamonique, you do you and power through." She doesn't love that answer.
Shakayla doesn't say anything all day long unless absolutely forced. Our big task for the summer is to get her to smile and engage.
Zyionn is a darling child. She loves me and always needs hugs. She gets extremely upset every time she gets disciplined and I always have to reassure her that I love her but it's still not okay to push friends. When she was leaving at the end of the day she said, "Ms. Ross, I'm going to graduate from college." Well, my work here is done. Achievement gap closed!
This is my favorite, favorite picture. Look at how happy this kid is to be smart! He is one of our biggest trouble makers but also a love bug. He's brilliant too.
Here's a little sample of some student work...
Zydarious is a great artist.
This kid didn't quite grasp the math lesson of the day...
and lastly, baby Jaylon. The most special kid. I just want to put him in my pocket and take him home (he's tiny enough that he'd practically fit...his arms are about as thin as butter knives, but he's the one that always makes me feel his muscle).
This kid cracks me up all day long. He was making a pattern with cubes the other day and when he finished he dusted off his hands and said, "My work here is done."
He also tells me a story every afternoon while we wait for the bus to come. It's always a fairy tale, and at the end he always says, "Isn't that hilarious?!" He loves school and gives me about 15 hugs a day.
On Thursday I wore my cowboy boots to school. I walked into the classroom and he said, "Ohhhh Ms. Ross! I love your cowboy boots! Can I hug them?" and the next thing I knew he was on his knees wrapping his little arms around my boots. The he stands up, says, "Ride 'em cowboy." and walks away. I love him. He's so so so bright.
At the beginning of the week I really just wanted to come home. But spending all week with these kiddos is the best. I actually wished it was Monday today because I miss them! They just crack me up. It is going to be really hard to leave them in two weeks.
I miss you all very much! I hope that you will come visit me when I get back to Memphis. I will take you all to the National Civil Rights Museum and the Orpheum theater and to the best BBQ and then we can go dancing at a Blues joint. Look out!
love you!
Cailin
We're entering the home stretch here in Mississippi! Thank God! Just two more weeks until I get to move back to Memphis. I went back to Memphis for the day yesterday, and it was a great feeling to be driving into the city and feeling so happy to be back, even if only for a few hours. I was there with Shannon, my roommate, and Brittany, one of the girls who is living on the same hall as us. We did a lot of shopping for teacher clothes, went to brunch at the Blue Plate Cafe, and walked around our neighborhood. I hadn't realized how close I was to so much cool stuff! I am about a quarter mile from the Lorraine Motel, the site of Martin Luther King's assassination and home to the National Civil Rights Museum. Also on my street is the Orpheum Theater, an off-Broadway theater and cinema. Their summer movie series is on right now. Luckily I will be back in town for the showings of The Princess Bride and Blazing Saddles. Also a short walk away is the FedEx Forum (where we're going to see Sugarland play on Aug. 24th!), and tons of BBQ restaurants. A short walk to the west is the Mississippi River and lots of parks and walking trails. Here's what the view looks like.
It was great to be away from here for awhile and a little hard to drive back to the Delta.
But, last night we drove to Ground Zero, a blues club about 45 min from Delta State. It's a club owned by Morgan Freeman, who periodically pops in and dances. Yes, I've danced on the same floor as Morgan Freeman. He was there just 3 weeks ago! It's such a fun place! Very Mississippi. There is writing all over the walls where people signed their names. Here's my name:
It's famous but not at all fancy. Plastic table cloths are on the tables, they serve the greasiest food (shocker) and lots of beer and there were a ton of locals all out for dancing. And obviously it's all live blues, all night. Every musician except the singer had a lit cigarette hanging out of their mouths the whole time they performed.
My friend Gracie and I stayed basically until closing so we had the dance floor to ourselves. We met Abraham, a man who has been working there for 11 years (he's met Morgan Freeman tons of times and got our phone numbers so he can call us next time he pops in...) He's probably 60 years old and drives the "limo" for the club. The limo looks like it's from 1973. A big band is coming on July 3rd and he's offered to pick 10 of us up in Cleveland in his limo. No charge. Only tip the driver. hmm...an adventure maybe? Gracie and I are trying to find 8 more brave enough to come along for a night of blues and dancing in honor of America.
This week was a really hard one at school, but a really rewarding one. Going into the third week was difficult because it still felt like we had so many more days left here, our kids still hadn't quite warmed up to us, we were exhausted, behavior management in our classroom is much, much harder than we thought it would be, and we're all homesick. The racism and poverty down here is also emotionally exhausting. We see how deeply ingrained racism is down here, and it's very discouraging. Back in Vermont, it feels like racism is so foolish and ignorant and that we all just need to talk it out and get along. But down here it's a deep, deep hatred and mistrust and always on the surface. For the first time down here I'm noticed for being white, and I feel what it feels like to be stigmatized and marginalized because of the color of my skin. I had one little boy come up to be and say, "Ms. Ross, my mama says I'm scared of white people, but I'm not scared of you at all." In a classroom down the hall, one girl was teaching her lesson and a little boy raised his hand.
"Ms., are you white?"
"Yes, I am."
"How did you get to be white?"
"I was born this way."
"I wish I was born white."
It's disgusting and sad that at 4 years old a little boy already feels that there is something wrong with him because of his color, feels that life would be better as a white person.
In another instance, one of my teaching partners was on the phone with a little girl's mom. The girl has been misbehaving a lot, and we've all made calls home about what we can do about it. The teacher who made the call happens to be African American. The mother, also black, goes, "Hold up. Are you black?" and my co-teacher says, "Yes Ma'am, I am."
"Well it's about time that my daughter has a black teacher."
My co-teacher was greatly offended, not only that she was labeled because of the sound of her voice, but also that something like this would matter. It was really upsetting, and it's a terrible feeling to feel guilty about your skin color. I kept thinking, I wish I was black, too, so that her mother trusted me. The whole thing is so ignorant, but so real for many people. It's been really difficult dealing with these emotions and thoughts that I've never had to deal with before.
However, on a more hopeful and happy note, my lessons and behavior management have become a million times better since the beginning of the week. All of us are kind of finding our teaching styles, which makes teaching much more natural and fun. It's so much fun and so delightful when you do it right and when the kids really get it. The babies also trust us now and love us, so coming to class is the best because they just want to tell you the best stories and give lots of hugs and show you how very smart they are.
On Friday it was College Day. All the teachers wore T-Shirts that said their college name on it, and we talked with the kids about what it means to go to college and how important it is to go to school. I brought in my mortar board for them to try on ("Ms. Ross, I like your silly hat!"). They were adorable. Here are a few of my students, all ready for college graduation! Class of 2029!
"I wanna try makin dose curly-coos!"
He did manage to draw a 3, but at the end of the lesson I asked what number it was..."Umm, six."
"Ms. Ross, he cutted me in line!"
"Hey Diamonique, you do you and power through." She doesn't love that answer.
This is my favorite, favorite picture. Look at how happy this kid is to be smart! He is one of our biggest trouble makers but also a love bug. He's brilliant too.
Here's a little sample of some student work...
Zydarious is a great artist.
and lastly, baby Jaylon. The most special kid. I just want to put him in my pocket and take him home (he's tiny enough that he'd practically fit...his arms are about as thin as butter knives, but he's the one that always makes me feel his muscle).
This kid cracks me up all day long. He was making a pattern with cubes the other day and when he finished he dusted off his hands and said, "My work here is done."
He also tells me a story every afternoon while we wait for the bus to come. It's always a fairy tale, and at the end he always says, "Isn't that hilarious?!" He loves school and gives me about 15 hugs a day.
On Thursday I wore my cowboy boots to school. I walked into the classroom and he said, "Ohhhh Ms. Ross! I love your cowboy boots! Can I hug them?" and the next thing I knew he was on his knees wrapping his little arms around my boots. The he stands up, says, "Ride 'em cowboy." and walks away. I love him. He's so so so bright.
At the beginning of the week I really just wanted to come home. But spending all week with these kiddos is the best. I actually wished it was Monday today because I miss them! They just crack me up. It is going to be really hard to leave them in two weeks.
I miss you all very much! I hope that you will come visit me when I get back to Memphis. I will take you all to the National Civil Rights Museum and the Orpheum theater and to the best BBQ and then we can go dancing at a Blues joint. Look out!
love you!
Cailin
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